Miriam

She stares into space, hoping beyond hope to disappear into the wall. Maybe one day she could actually turn invisible. Maybe one day she would disappear. She watches him pass like she does every other day, and slowly turns red. The one time she wants to be seen - and he breezes past. There’s always tomorrow.

She hugs her books tightly to her chest. Yes, one day he’ll see me. He will realize I am pretty, even though no one else seems to know. He will come and say hi to me. We will instantly fall in love. She sighs. Every day is a different variation of this impossible fantasy. He will never see her. He will never care.

Another day. She walks into class, narrowly missing tripping over her own clumsy feet. So what if she was staring at him? She can still walk perfectly fine. She sits down, ungracefully, and attempts to concentrate on being sucked into the earth. Maybe if I concentrate hard enough, gravity will become my friend. Maybe it will take me somewhere where I can actually belong.

He scratches his head, wondering how he could do this. He needs to pass. He’s failing. Teacher says he needs a miracle.

“Miriam, come get your test. Ninety-two, well done.”

He looks up, and notices her for the very first time. She is clumsy and uncoordinated. Her short hair partially covers her pink-tinged face. Her teeth are a bit too big, and her clothes a bit unmatched. She is perfect.

“Miriam, will you be my miracle?” he asks.

She looks a bit dazed, and stutters before answering “How do you know my name?” She always thought she didn’t exist to him. Always thought she was never really there. For once she was happy her attempts to sink into the ground were thwarted by physics.

In truth, he hadn’t know her name until seconds before, but he was a good liar. He could lie his way through anything. This should not be difficult. “You’re in my class.”

“Oh.” was all she could mutter in response.

So, she taught him everything she knew. She let him copy her homework. She showed him how to do problems, and drew diagrams. She did everything she could. And she was his miracle. He had passed.

Unfortunately, he was not hers.

“So, uh, thanks for all your help…” She waited. This was the moment when it would all be worth it. She held her breath, itching to hear ‘You saved me, and through our time together, I realized we are perfect for each other in every which way.’ Sure, their conversations were awkward, but she was awkward. And maybe he left as soon as they were done studying, but he probably had things that needed to be done.

“Well, my girlfriend’s waiting, so I had better go.” She was crushed.

“You…have a girlfriend?”

“Oh, yeah.” He was oblivious to how much she was breaking inside. All he could think was I passed, I passed! A mantra inside his head. “I’m dating Heather Jones.” That was the last thing he had ever said to her, and he never even realized. He hardly even noticed when she was gone.

Heather Jones. Heather Jones was not a nice person. She was the girl who pushed Miriam into the sandbox in grade four. Heather Jones was the girl who spend every single day making Miriam wish she was invisible.

If the earth won’t take me, I’ll find it myself. She thought, in her head his last words still echoing off her skull.

Miriam’s parents buried her three days later.

At least now she was finally a part of the earth.